Sabbatical Summer

This summer has been transformative. For the first time, I’ve truly embraced a deep sense of growth across so many areas that don’t tie back to my career. It feels liberating to finally see that my identity isn’t defined by work or achievements but by the richness of life itself. Hobbies, emotional growth, family, friends, mindfulness, and spirituality—these are the places that have been lighting me up in ways I hadn’t invested in before. Now, I am beginning to feel ready to reintroduce work into my life with a new approach—one where it doesn’t define me but serves as an avenue for curiosity and creativity.

Mindfulness and Small Moments of Presence

After the silent meditation retreat in May, I thought I’d carry that sense of peace with me forever. But life sped up quickly, and I realized that feeling of peace required consistent practice. With golf, travel, family, and social life taking over this summer, it became harder to find time for stillness. I fell out of my mindfulness routine, and once I did, it was difficult to get back into it. The quiet environment the retreat provided was hard to recreate in the real world with family and responsibilities. This time, though, I quickly caught myself slipping into an all-or-nothing mindset. Instead of giving up entirely because I couldn’t replicate the retreat’s conditions, I adopted a new, more flexible approach.

Now, I’ve embraced the idea that mindfulness doesn’t have to be a long, formal practice. It can be small moments throughout the day—taking a short walk with Moose without my phone, focusing on my breath as I lay in bed, or applying mindfulness and compassion when I feel discomfort. I’m not meditating for an hour every day, but I’m finding ways to stay connected to the present moment in ways that feel manageable.

Golf and Piano: Finding My Hobbies

One of the biggest shifts for me has been finding hobbies outside of work, particularly in golf and piano. Golf has been a revelation. It’s given me something to pour my energy into, and I’ve seen tangible progress over time. The mental challenge of focusing on the shot in front of me, letting go of bad ones, and “giving every shot the attention it deserves” has been a constant mantra. Waking up at 5 a.m. to stretch before a round, spending time in the simulator—these routines fill my cup in a way that’s completely separate from everything else in life. Having Neil get into golf was a blessing too; we’ve pushed each other, and the progress we’ve made together has been incredible.

Piano has also become a growing passion, but the key realization came when I started playing for myself instead of others. I lost interest when I was performing for the kids, but when I shifted to playing songs that I love, something clicked. That’s where I found the joy. Recently, I started working with my piano teacher to learn how to play Punjabi music—the kind of music that resonates with me deeply. It’s brought a new level of personal connection to the instrument, and I can feel myself getting lost in it again (video).

Relationship with Sonya: 10 Years Together

This August marked 10 years of marriage with Sonya, and I am incredibly grateful for our relationship. She inspires and challenges me, constantly adding fun and play to life in ways that don’t come naturally to me. I’ve also learned a lot about myself through our relationship, especially around how I deal with conflict. This summer, I’ve had to face my conflict-avoidance, my tendency to self-sacrifice, and the difficulty I have expressing my emotions. Through therapy, especially EMDR, I’ve been working through these patterns—realizing that much of how I respond to stress or anxiety comes from learned behaviors in childhood.

I wasn’t given the vocabulary for emotions growing up, so when Sonya asks, “How are you feeling right now?” it’s often hard for me to put words to it. That’s been a major area of growth—learning to name what I’m feeling, and the emotion wheel has been super helpful for this. As I get better at expressing myself, our relationship continues to deepen. I feel lucky to have a partner who supports my growth while pushing me in ways that help me show up better.

Releasing Tension

This summer, I’ve also done a lot of work around releasing tension, especially in my jaw. Through inner child work, I’ve begun to understand how my body holds onto stress, anxiety, and fear from past experiences. It’s wild how much the body stores from things the mind hasn’t fully processed yet. I’ve tapped into those deeper emotions, releasing not just physical tension but emotional baggage I didn’t realize I was carrying.

Reading The Body Keeps the Score has been eye-opening, showing me how much our bodies process and react to the world before our minds can even catch up. It’s all connected, and I feel like I’m just beginning to scratch the surface of how my past influences the present.

Balancing Play and Productivity

Growing up, the expectation was always to be the best at everything, and that became my own inner pressure. I’ve placed a lot of weight on productivity, constantly needing to achieve something. The mindset was always, “work first, play later.” But I’ve realized the to-do list never ends, and if I’m always waiting to finish work before I play, the fun never comes.

This summer, I’ve been working hard to find a balance between play and productivity. I’m learning to focus on what matters and let go of the rest. Thenuka helped me shift my perspective—he suggested viewing the to-do list as a “Today list” with just one or two tasks, and checking the backlog only once a week. That way, I avoid the overwhelm that comes from seeing everything at once and feeling like I have to tackle it all immediately.

Speaking of Thenuka, he stayed with us for a week this summer, and his insights about life always leave an impact. One thing that stuck with me is the idea of “letting go of the story”—the self-limiting beliefs our minds create. He shared a story about being in the gym, struggling with a set, and his trainer told him to pause, drop the story, and do twice as many reps. That reminder to drop the limiting narrative has helped me push past so many mental blocks, not just in workouts but in life.

Spirituality: Letting Go and Trusting Life

Another profound shift has been around spirituality and trusting that the best things in life are often beyond my control. I used to think I needed to plan everything meticulously to ensure I was on the perfect path, but I’ve come to realize that it’s impossible to control everything.

Now, I’m learning to lean into the flow of life. Instead of trying to force an outcome, I trust that by following what gives me energy—whether it’s golf, piano, building things, or spending time with my family—things will unfold as they’re meant to. There’s no perfect formula, and that’s okay. This shift has been about moving from seeing work as my identity to seeing it as another space to play, experiment, and create. My purpose right now is to raise healthy, confident, and authentic kids, and work will fit around that rather than the other way around. I have years of training in building software, and Ian has always reminded me that he's seen me in the most flow when I’m coding. So, my plan is to get back to building on the internet in the coming months—having fun with it while maintaining the flexibility I value with my kids.

Fun Highlights

• Volleyball Championship: Won the championship in the advanced league. Steve pushed me to play at a higher level, which was uncomfortable but worth it. I learned so much from the team and was proud of how much I improved (pic).
• Memorable Experiences: Trips to Sevilla, Paris, Austin, Muskoka, Great Wolf Lodge, Center Island, 3 family weddings (pic), cocktail making (pic) and Electric Island brought a lot of joy and special memories with friends and family.
• Guests: Hosting friends and family like Ashok, Thenuka, Shanak, and Aminder, Am, Zozo, Khivi this summer filled our home with warmth and connection.
• Kids: Zuri started JK at her new school. She’s such a kind, silly, curious kid. Nika celebrated her 2nd bday in June. She's this strong, sweet girl who talks non-stop. Watching them grow has been the highlight of my days (pic).
• Concerts: Taking Zuri to her first concert, Diljit at the Rogers Centre, was an unforgettable experience. The way she soaked in the music, her first subway ride—it was all very special (video). Karan Aujla’s concert with Sonya, Am, and Aminder was another amazing night, dancing and singing to tracks I’ve been pumping all summer (pic).

As I reflect on this summer, I realize just how much life has opened up in unexpected ways. The growth I’ve experienced—whether through golf, piano, emotional work, or simply being present with my family—has reminded me that life is so much more than what we do for a living. It’s about finding joy in the everyday moments, embracing the unknown, and trusting that we’re on the right path, even when we don’t have all the answers.

I’m excited to continue this journey, wherever it leads, with a sense of curiosity and openness. Thanks for being part of it all.