Sabbatical - Month 3
Sick Days: A New Approach
This month kicked off with me being sick and stuck in bed. Normally, I'd stubbornly work through any illness, so this time I thought: “If physical activities were off the table, what could I still do mentally?” Ideas like diving into a deep meditation, deploying the app I’d been tinkering with, or clearing some todos crossed my mind. But honestly, just the thought of starting any of these felt exhausting. I was beating myself up for not being able to do much until a conversation with my therapist offered a fresh perspective. She reminded me that my mind and body aren't separate entities—they both make up “me”. When one's down, the other's likely to follow suit. It made sense—I was physically down, so mentally, I was too. She helped reframe being sick to the feeling of being stuck on a long flight. No one likes flying, but we tolerate it. So, I switched gears to tolerating being sick—sleeping, watching movies, and eating—simple things that helped me get through it.
Jumping Out of the Jar
Steve shared this fascinating tick experiment with me. They'd jump in a jar, hitting the lid repeatedly until eventually, they stopped jumping as high, even after the lid was removed. This story hit home, making me reflect on my own self-imposed ceilings. Especially one Friday, when I let myself fully enjoy activities just for the joy they brought me, guilt-free. Remembering my childhood fascination with David Blaine, I spent the afternoon learning magic tricks (trick 1, trick 2, trick 3). It was liberating to be immersed in wonder and excitement without any pressure. That joy extended to golf—a sport I love for its process of making improvements. I realized that I had confined fun to only Friday afternoons and productive activities to "work hours." Why not make every day fun? Inspired by this thought, I've now scrapped the "Focus Time" block from my calendar. Every day is open for what feels right, marking a significant shift towards embracing spontaneity and play.
Every Day's a Fun Day
The realization that I could break away from my meticulously planned schedule to embrace more spontaneous, joy-filled activities was empowering. Magic tricks, hitting golf balls, and deciding to start piano lessons with Zuri brought an immense sense of fulfillment and presence. Setting up the keyboard and diving into a beginner's lesson on YouTube one afternoon was a surreal experience (video of first lesson)—I wanted to keep playing music all day. Next day I started learning a Bollywood song (video 1, video 2).
Our trip to Barcelona with Neil and Amisha offered a refreshing pause from routine. Being truly present, without the usual work distractions, allowed for deeper connections and witnessing our kids’ growth in new ways. It was a great reminder of the beauty in simply being with those you cherish, soaking up every shared laugh, every discovery, and every quiet moment together.
Learning to Be Gentle
The disruptions—home renovations, travel, and being sick—challenged my discipline around workouts and meals. Yet, they taught me an invaluable lesson in self-compassion. Previously, I'd have been hard on myself for any deviation from routine. Now, I see these moments as chances to practice zooming out, recognizing they're just brief pauses in a much larger narrative. Life is full of ebbs and flows, and it's about how we adapt and grow through them.
Gratitude and Growth
Less jaw clenching (thanks to Michelle) and a deeper understanding of the emotion of anger mark this month’s personal growth. We also celebrated Bibi's would-be 90th birthday, and Zuri had this sweet idea to sing "Happy Birthday" with our hands on our hearts. It reminded me of this quote I read about how we die three times: when our body stops, when we’re laid to rest, and the last time someone says our name. Bibi’s memory and the love she gave us still feel so alive, shaping who we are. After listening to the Becky Huberman podcast on parenting, Aminder and I reflected on how Bibi’s sense of safety has profoundly affected our ability to navigate the world. Incredibly grateful for her.
Looking forward, I’m excited for what's on the horizon—more golf, volleyball, magic, art, books, and music. I'm eager for the home renovations to wrap up, for upcoming trips (Coachella, a silent meditation retreat, Paris and Sevilla), and especially for more spontaneous fun days with my daughters. This month has been about shedding the need to be constantly productive, embracing spontaneity, and finding joy in the everyday moments.
