Burn the List

I live and die by my TODO list. So if something needs doing, it goes on the list. “We are almost out of diapers for the kids”, let me add it to the TODO list and I’ll order it later. I love the feeling of checking things off all at once – it’s like a little party in my brain! But when that list gets super long, I feel dread, “Ugh, I don’t want to deal with my TODO list.”

The worst part: by always having a list of things to do, I struggled to enjoy the present moment of stillness. Instead, I found myself constantly thinking about the things I needed to accomplish. I felt the pressure to be productive at all times, and it was exhausting.

Recently, I decided to take a sabbatical from work. Like a whole year off, maybe more. My intention with this time is explore my passions and follow my curiosity. At first, I felt kinda lost without my usual routine. I wanted to enjoy this free time, but I didn’t know how to start. So guess what I did? I made another list! This time it was all about fun stuff I can do – hanging out with friends, getting fit, learning new things, spending time with family. Felt great making that list.

But then, I told my buddy in New York about the list. I was all proud, telling him about my “fun” list separate from my “must-do” list. And he goes, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You need to burn the list.” That hit me like a lightning bolt.

I realized I was so hooked on these lists that I wasn’t really living in the moment. I was stuck doing things my past self thought were fun, not what I actually wanted to do right now. It’s like I put myself in a box and threw away the key.

So a few days ago I burned the lists. Totally scrapped them. Decided I’d just go with the flow, do what feels right when it feels right. Sometimes it’s fun stuff, sometimes it’s boring adult stuff. If something’s not going on the list anymore, I either deal with it right away or wait until it bugs me enough to get it done.

I’m trying this new thing where I live by the day, not by the list. I’m still figuring it out, but it’s kind of exciting to simply flow.